Housing member
Member since 2005

It comes as no surprise to readers that builders and tradespeople work in rewarding careers, albeit ones with healthy measures of responsibility, stress and challenge attached. Days start early and run late, paperwork can seem endless, tasks are often physically demanding and minds must always be sharp. The workplace is often charged with testosterone; hardness and machismo come with the territory. It can be a very tough place to feel low, confused or rudderless.

Men and women in the building and construction industry do, in fact, suffer from the effects of depression and anxiety more than the average Australian. In the construction business especially, the bootstrap-bloke stereotype really does apply, with many sufferers and non-sufferers alike resisting belief that any degree of difficulty from depression or anxiety warrants reaching out for help.

Once upon a time, Neil Coulter was one of these builders. He was successful, hardworking, talented, enterprising…and acutely unhappy. In spite of his many achievements, feelings of frustration, negativity and a quickness to anger characterised every day of his life. A few years ago, however, he confronted his depression, opening himself up to help and support. Today he exemplifies someone who sees that in treating a mental ailment as a legitimate medical condition, there is nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Neil began working with his father, a plumber, during his early adolescent years, developing interest and skills that would later help launch his own career as a builder. At 18, he began a carpentry apprenticeship, and in 2006, after obtaining his builder’s DBU licence, he launched his company, Mortar Life Quality Builders, focussing on custom home construction. Ambition and energy were in healthy supply for Neil but, he said his 20s were a tough time for him.

“I was dealing with a lot of anger and anxiety; at one point I was hospitalised with severe stomach cramps,” he said. “I can’t prove those were due to the depression, but I think they were. The doctors couldn’t find anything wrong.”

There were plenty of other episodes that were less obscure. His outlook on life was dark, and even the smallest task could feel monumental, filling him with dread.

“I used to sit in my truck in the morning trying to force myself to turn on the ignition and drive to work,” he recalled. “I’d just fall apart.”

Other events and milestones that were inherently stressful but enjoyable, such as getting married, having children and launching a new business, often intensified Neil’s anxiety beyond tolerable limits.

“I wondered what was wrong with me,” he said, “but I didn’t want to bother people with my problems. I thought it was my issue and I just had to deal with it.”

He did, eventually, but not alone.

Neil decided he’d had enough. He read about the signs of depression, how it worked, and what avenues for help were available to him. He saw a doctor, received a prescription for medication, went to counselling and started to feel better.

“Once I started feeling more like myself, I realised I had probably been suffering from depression since I was about twelve,” Neil said. “Getting help with it is one of the best things I’ve ever done.” He also credits his wife Natalie with the support of saintly patience. “A lesser woman would have left me for sure, and I would not have blamed her,” he said.

Today, as the owner and director of Mortar Life and an active member of Master Builders’ Housing Sector Committee, Neil thrives in his work as a home builder and remains committed to a policy of exceptional communication with his clients. His impulse to be generous with his time led him recently to become active with The Big Umbrella, a Melbourne-based relief group started by a former schoolmate of his, that provides shelter and support to homeless children in Nepal and that also helps to provide meals to Melbourne’s homeless.

Neil is an active supporter of The Big Umbrella, having sponsored the construction of a new home in an earthquake-affected area of Nepal that falls outside of municipal relief zones. He encourages other builders to join the cause, explaining that the support they can offer goes directly into helping to train the local Nepalese to build homes for themselves; the legacy of their involvement continues to provide support for the community.

Neil is equally outspoken about the importance of mental health, which is a key factor in allowing his involvement with charitable pursuits. While he doesn’t preach, he is adamant about making himself available to colleagues whom he suspects may be experiencing the symptoms of depression or anxiety.

“This is who I am. If you don’t accept me, I don’t care,” Neil says. “The best way to reach people is for folks like me to share our stories.”

Neil has come to terms with the fact that it’s possible he may be on medication for the rest of his life. It doesn’t faze him because the benefits are clear.

“Medication combined with keeping fit, staying active in programs outside of work, positive thinking and having a better understanding of depression are what help me combat the condition,” he said.

“Things aren’t perfect,” he admits. “There will always be hard days, but now I know what to expect and have a way of coping with them. Things are a lot better than they used to be.”

For help and information on depression and anxiety, contact beyondblue on 1 300 224 636 or beyondblue.org.au